reflections from a gp, who just happened to have bowel cancer
1st July 2024 “So, what does closure look like to you?” my therapist has asked. We have visited this question several times over the last few years. As a concept, closure has been difficult to visualise, and even harder to
Read more4th January 2024 2024 didn’t start the way we ever would have anticipated. My amazing mum died on New Year’s Day. We are lost, rudderless, without her. I’m not sure what my grief is meant to look like, and
Read more28th June 2023 It’s been a difficult couple of months. My mum and me… My mum, a fit and healthy 73-year-old, has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. As a family it has shaken us. It was picked up
Read more29th January 2023 Over the last few weeks, I’ve been having coaching sessions. I’ve mentioned the challenges I’ve been having lately at work, and the difficulty I have continuing to work for “the organisation” that let me down. The hope
Read more24th November 2022 Today is my third “cancerversary”. It is three years since Sh** Sunday – the 24th November 2019. Three years since receiving my diagnosis rather unceremoniously via a screenshot of the CT scan with a “here you go”
Read more8th September 2022 “My name is Claire, and I suffer with health anxiety.” There, I’ve said it. It feels like I have been carrying around a dirty secret for a long time, but hopefully admitting I have the problem is
Read more24th December 2021 I am ready for Christmas. I’m as prepared as I possibly can be for the festivities tomorrow. The children are super excited, and this year, I have the added bonus of a Christmas not shrouded in a
Read more24th November 2021 Today is my second “Cancerversary”. It’s 2 years to the day since I received my bowel cancer diagnosis. Sh*t Sunday, the 24th November 2019, is indelibly etched on my mind. So much has happened since then: surgery,
Read more20th November 2021 Metaphors. My cancer recovery seems to have been framed by metaphors. For me, the most significant has been “the box”. I’ve blogged previously about the “box”. That is, my box of emotional readiness for round two –
Read more10th October 2021 Today was a big day. To be fair, it was never going to be about just getting round. Not for me. This was a long-awaited rematch. My last race, which also happened to be the Manchester Half
Read more3rd July 2021 Next week is a big week. I’m heading back to work on Monday after 18 months off, bar a somewhat abortive 3-week stint last summer. I will be starting in a new surgery – a fresh start
Read more30th March 2021 Good news…reason to celebrate I had my first surveillance scope since my diagnosis, yesterday. Thankfully it was clear. Big relief. Good news. Great news. Obviously, it is better than the alternative, but… “Good news” is, I think,
Read more5th October 2020 So here I am, 10 and a half months post diagnosis, and 2 and a half months since my last blog post. I returned to work. It was great to be back with my incredibly supportive colleagues
Read more21st July 2020 Tomorrow I re-enter the world of work. Exciting? Yes. Daunting? Absolutely… In fact I’m terrified. I left work on the 21st November 2019 with absolutely no idea that it would be 8 months before I stepped back
Read more29th April 2020 I feel like I am currently standing at a cliff edge on a misty day. Visibility is pretty poor, but … as I stand here, the mist is definitely beginning to clear. I’m starting to look forward,
Read more15th April 2020 Cancer guilt is exhausting and suffocating. I should say my cancer guilt, as I can only speak for myself. As with all the emotional responses associated with cancer, the delay in their emergence has really taken me
Read more5th April 2020 I finished my latest quilting project this week…my “recovery” quilt. I’ve made many quilts over the last few years, always for other people. This one was for me. It’s odd in a way, as I started it
Read more26th March 2020 As the Corona crisis deepens and we brace ourselves for the inevitable storm, it has been hard to ignore the call to arms. 15,000 retired doctors already contacted to re-join the troops. There is no escape from
Read more19th March 2020 I have never really experienced anxiety before and I find it an uncomfortable place to be. I don’t even think that the anxiety itself was particularly overwhelming (it wasn’t until these last few days…), it is the
Read more14th March 2020 I appreciate I only have myself to blame for how it happened. It was Sunday the 24th November 2019, Sh** Sunday, as it has come to be known. I’d found the mass the previous Monday. I’d had
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